Grandfather Tree

It was Christmas day, 2009, and I was at one of my favorite places - Kalaloch on the Washington Coast. As I was meandering down the beach I spotted a giant log lying at the front of the driftwood pile that was strewn along the base of the embankment. It was at least 50' long and four or five feet through at the base.

I sat down on this giant and became aware of his presence - his energy. I felt like an intruder and belatedly asked his permission to sit on him. He graciously gave it.

Then I began to feel ill at ease, as if I'd worn out my welcome, so I slid down off him. I had the presence of mind to as if I could lean against him. He gave his permission and I leaned back, warming my face in the weak winter sun.

After a while, I asked him if he'd tell me his story. He agreed, but only if the telling would be helpful to humans. He began:

"I grew up in the deep forest, first as a small seedling when I looked up at everything. Then as I grew I began to look at other trees and bushes equally. Then, because I was so healthy and strong, I grew taller and taller, eventually becoming the tallest tree in the forest. I could look over the tops of all the other trees as if I were standing in a glade of Salal bush.

"One day a huge, mean winter storm came through the forest. It blew hard and at all levels and heights. It pushed and pulled at me until my roots began to lose hold of the earth. At last I lost my footing and fell to the ground.

"It was a terrible fall. I hurt and damaged many of my brothers and sisters on my way down. Although it wasn't my fault and I could do nothing to change the direction of my descent, I felt anguish each time I connected with another of my kind, tearing a limb, breaking it in half, or knocking it down. There was nothing I could do.

"I tumbled down a steep embankment to the river, where I was swept into its swollen, raging current. The ride down the river was sometimes fun and exciting, sometimes scary and painful. On occasion I would be knocked into huge boulders or other wind-torn trees that were also on their journey down the river.

"Finally I came to rest at the sand mouth of the river, where it meets the ocean beach. 'At last,' I thought, 'I've arrived at my final resting place.' But it was not to be.

"Winter after winter I was pushed and pulled, tumbled and tossed around by the huge, wild ocean surf during the high tides of that season. I was knocked into other trees that were once my brother and sister trees, but like me, were now bare, beat-up logs.

"Eventually I was brought to the front of the pack by the relentless waves, to begin another facet of my life - this time as a beach log. Many seasons passed... some calm and warm, others cold with high waters and harsh winds, driving the churning waves.

"Although I believed I'd at last found my final resting place, once again I was proven wrong. Each winter the ocean would come higher on the beach and the waves would become larger and more powerful. They would pick me up, roll me around, and pull me out into the ocean, only to be brought back to the beach and dumped in a new locale, where I'd lie until the next winter.

"I now know that I shall never have a final resting place. In the end, I will be worn down and torn into a million pieces by the wind and water. But no matter where all these pieces end up they are all me. I shall never die. I will simple continue to transform."

I thanked Grandfather Tree for sharing his story with me. I told him I would tell other humans of his story in the hopes it might help them.

As i considered all that he had told me, what came to the forefront of my thoughts was how similar his story and his evolution is to ours.

We are, after all, multidimensional. We exist in in many other dimensions. Like the might Grandfather Tree, no matter where all the pieces of you end up, they are still you. You shall never die. You will simply continue to transform forever.

Apologies and Forgiveness

For years I've tried to understand forgiveness. I hear and read repeatedly that I SHOULD forgive in order to become a better person/enlightened human/ascended being. There are even workshops and books on forgiving.

Well, I've tried the forgiveness route, but what happens is that I'm left with a dissatisfied feeling, the kind I get when I eat too much sugar. I'm full but feel unsatisfied, as if the essential life-giving nutritional substance of what I just digested is missing.

I find the whole process of apology and forgiveness superficial and hollow. I don't understand what purpose it serves other than to make the offender feel better about the despicable act they did. And perhaps give the victim a momentary sense of power as they wield the magic wand of Forgiveness, perhaps hesitating a bit to fully enjoy their false power as they hold it over the perpetrator.

I have yet to see an offender stop their behavior after apologizing and obtaining forgiveness from their victim. To the contrary, it seems to give them permission to do it again because they got off so easily the last time. Just say you're sorry and all is forgiven. No repercussions. No recriminations. No penalties to pay. It becomes a cycle of offensive behavior, apology, forgiveness, repeated ad infinitum.

It reminds me of a guy I knew in high school, a good little Catholic boy. He'd drink and carouse all week long, then go to confession on Monday and have his sins forgiven by the priest. Then, having a clean slate, he'd go out and do it all over again.

In AA they have a saying: "Don't tell me. Show me." It simply means don't aplogize. Instead, change your behavior.

Years ago when I worked in a biker/redneck bar, the bikers would often have a drug and alcohol filled night during which there would be fights, broken furniture and glass, and other sundry mayhem. Inevitably, the next day one or more would come to me and apologize. I never accepted their apologies, which shocked and offended many of them. Instead I told them I never wanted them to do anything for which they'd feel the need to apologize. This worked much better than accepting their apologies. I wasn't giving them a clean slate so they could do it all over again like my high school friend. I gained the respect of all of them and many were much better behaved, no matter how drunk or stoned they got.

The next time someone approaches you with an apology or you feel compelled to offer an apology, ask yourself these questions:

• What part did I play in the situation?
• What did I learn from it?
• What will I accept and not accept should this situation occur again?

Fourth of July Leftovers

Well, once again we've celebrated the birth of our country by re-creating a pseudo war. To my knowledge, no one died as a result of this phony war, although there were probably many injuries.

I'm talking about fireworks.

Surely there's a better way to celebrate the birth of our nation than by emulating war.

I can think of no benefit to spending hundreds of dollars on junk that literally goes up in smoke in minutes. I can, however, think of many detriments to fireworks.

1. They are dangerous to humans. Each year there are reports all across the nation about people who were stupid when handling their fireworks and burned themselves, blew their fingers off their hand, or damaged some other part of their body or someone else's body.
2. They are harmful to animals. Here is something I find extremely difficult to understand: People who have pets and purport to love them nonetheless make unnecessarily fearful once a year by subjecting them to the loud and fearful sounds of imitation guns and bombs. Animals have much more sensitive hearing than humans and the sound of fireworks is painful to them as well as being scary.
3. They are harmful to the earth. I don't know what the weather's like where you live, but here in the Pacific Northwest I've noticed that each year on the fourth of July we have nice weather, and each year on the fifth of July the sky clouds up and we have rain. Could this be the earth trying to heal the damage that was done to her by the concussion of loud fireworks? And how many wild fires are started by the use of fireworks? We live on an acre of land surrounded by trees. A couple of days before the Fourth celebration I found the remains of a bottle rocket in the garden next to my house. It came from one of the neighbors, which meant that it traveled up and over a patch of trees. It could just as easily have gone into the woods and started a fire.

How about we begin to celebrate this important national holiday with a focus on life rather than on the machinations of death? A focus on what makes this country so strong and such a wonderful place to live? How do you envision this new and improved celebration of the birth of our nation?

Sacred Activism: May 2006

Sacred Activism: May 2006

My book is now published and I've been having a blast with the marketing of it. In the void of time between sending the final, corrected version to the printer and receiving the shipment I wondered how I'd feel once I had a garage full of my books. WONDERFUL is how I feel! Not scared or worried or fretful. I'm truly happy and having fun with it. And I'm learning a fabulous life lesson in the process of having fun. Who'da thunk you could learn while having fun?

One of the lift lessons I began working on some months ago was being open to receive. This was precipitated by my frustration and resentfulness at over-giving of myself and my work. Giving my self away, was the phrase I used as I did work for no pay. I justified it to myself in many ways, mostly telling myself that it was good PR. In truth it was me telling myself how little I valued my self and my work.

Along came my book shipment, and I was madly sending out review packets which included copies of my book. I also sent out several copies to friends as gifts. Then a very strange thing started happening. Checks began appearing in the mail from those whom I had gifted copies of my book. Some who purchased the book from me insisted on paying me more than the published price of $14.95.

The first time I received a check in the mail from someone I'd sent the book to as a gift I was at first appalled. "She must think that I'm soliciting my book like those people who send out return email address stickers and ask for a donation", I thought. "How humiliating. I'll straighten this out." These thoughts came even after I'd read her beautiful note saying that she wanted to support me in my work as I'd supported her in hers.

Thanks to a dear friend who gave me a much-needed reality check, I realized that this was an opportunity for me to learn how to receive with gratitude and appreciation. I emailed the women who sent me the check and thanked her not only for the check but for the opportunity to experience being open to receive, and thus, forward my learning.

Since then I've received several more opportunities to receive and I'm getting better at being open and willing to accept these gifts.

Introduction to Sacred Activism

April 17, 2006
The Sunday edition of the Seattle Times, Opinion Section, had an article that grabbed me hard. The title was "Sacred Activism" by Victor Bremson, and in the article Victor talked about a new kind of activism, one that stresses engagement and reconciliation.

In the article he said that "sacred activists seek a major transformation in the way our society deals with the future. They share a common value that focuses on the long-term well-being of future generations." He noted that the Iroquios Confederacy instructs its chiefs to consider the impact of each decision they make on the seventh generation. Imagine for a moment or two how this might change our world. How might scientific discoveries be treated differently? What choices would our politictians make differently from those they make now? How would your decisions be different?

Additionally, Victor shared that Carl Anthony of the Ford Foundation teaches that the primary way to create successful change within a community is to bring all interested parties together to simply share their stories. As each story is told and heard, a connection grows within the group. Once each person has been heard, everyone is more willing to work together in the search for truth, to find ways of creating harmony and unity.

To further this work, I offer this blog for you to tell your story in order to create a community of people working together to find the truth, and thus ways to create harmony and unity.